Southern Gold Is the True Pride of the South

Posted 1:58pm Sunday 9th July 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Choo, Choo! It’s time to hop back on the steam train! After being gone from my beloved North Dunedin for two excruciating weeks, the only way to welcome my liver back to Dunners is with an entire tray of Southern Gold. It’s good old-fashioned fun that doesn’t require any of the Read more...

Wild Buck is The Most Scullable Beer in The Country

Posted 1:40pm Sunday 28th May 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Wild Buck is beer from the good old days, when men were men, a spade was a spade, and it was possible to buy property in Auckland. There’s a genuine argument to be made that Wild Buck was specifically designed to be the most scullable beer in the country.  Understanding the brewing Read more...

Critic Booze Reviews | Issue 12

Posted 2:11pm Sunday 21st May 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

According to the nice lady at Leith Liquor, we’re getting into the colder months and whisky can make a great winter warmer. So I took her advice and bought the cheapest bottle in the store. Burn Mackenzie is a great winter warmer in the same way that a house fire is a great way to heat your Read more...

Critic Booze Reviews | Issue 11

Posted 1:43pm Sunday 14th May 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Leith Liquor clearly made some sort of fuckup with their suppliers, because for the past couple of weeks they’ve had a pile of this stuff big enough to kill a whole floor of unicol freshers staring you down as soon as you walk in the door, and they’ve been desperately trying to get rid Read more...

You Should Drink Bavaria This Weekend

Posted 2:46pm Sunday 7th May 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

I had splurged on a couple of unnecessary expenses this week, like an optometrist appointment and some vegetables, so I was feeling pretty skint when it came to the old moolah department. So it truly lifted my heart when I saw that New World was looking out for me with a $19.99 12-pack club card Read more...

Who Doesn't Love a Shandy?

Posted 1:27pm Sunday 30th April 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Imagine you’re on your third day of a bender, the hardest of the lot, the simple thought of starting to drink again is stifling while you lie in bed hoping death comes shortly. The strongest willed of the group are starting to get back on the horse as the sun beats through your curtains Read more...

Critic Booze Reviews | Issue 8

Posted 2:35pm Sunday 23rd April 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Holy fucking shit this stuff is a gamechanger. Banrock Station has taken some mediocre rose, mixed it with delicious juice and a whole bunch of sugar and produced the most scullable wine product on the market (seriously, the label says ‘wine product’, as if they can’t legally call Read more...

If You’re Looking to Get Fucked up and Start a Fight with a Lamppost, Billy Mavs Are the Way to Go.

Posted 1:43pm Sunday 9th April 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

If that douchebag that dropped out of your high school in year 11, wears a Monster Energy trucker cap everywhere, has ‘tribal’ tattoos despite being whiter than John Key in a snowstorm, and whose Facebook profile picture is a lowered Hilux, were an alcoholic drink, he would be a Billy Read more...

Double Brown is Criminally Under-Rated

Posted 2:29pm Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Double Brown is a naturally fermented bitter beer with distinctive malty character. The DoBro has achieved near-legendary status among the proudly impoverished lower class.  With its reputation preceding it, it’s easy to forget what to expect from a can of the big red. I opened my Read more...

In Memoriam: Honoring our favorite shitty drinks of years gone by

Posted 2:29pm Sunday 26th March 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Cindy’s Cindy’s burst onto the scene with the aggressive enthusiasm of a fresher whose parents didn’t let them drink in high school. Orange Cindy’s changed the game with its Fanta flavored ethanol, allowing even the pickiest drinker to get blotto with ease. Then we had Read more...